How Are You Doing?

NICU Day 6

The question everyone asks: How are you doing?

Physically, mentally or emotionally? 

Physically, I feel pretty good. The uterus is sore from shrinking, the boobs are sore from growing. I’m somehow tired which is silly because if Hannah were home, I’d be MORE tired. I only wake once to pump in the night. 

Emotionally I bounce around. Have you had your heart split between two locations? Nora did really well this week, but we knew she’d hit her limit - she has told Tim & I she misses us, she wants held by us a lot… I can tell she needs back to routine, which is good because we’re at that point. 

I have a hard time leaving Hannah every day - obviously. It’s very strange leaving your baby to be cared by other people. The most we can do right now is pump my milk, work with her arms, legs and positions so she doesn’t get stiff, and work with a pacifier so that she’ll eventually be able to take a bottle. I have to be ready for the fact that I may never be able to nurse her - that precious window right after their born wasn’t an option for us. It’s a hard pill to swallow which is why I’m determined to at least pump as long as I can. 

We finally got the okay to hold her yesterday - the “critical” feeding tube in her nose [which goes through her GI track past her surgery location to open it up] was downgraded to “important” tube so with a nurse’s help [to guide all the tubes] we can hold her now. Of course, as soon as we can, she has a grumpy day and nearly cried the entire time we could hold her - DOH! 

It’s strange not having her at home - with Nora we were zombies, plus learning the new role of parenting. Now we go home at night at a normal time and we even have evenings free. 

Weekends will be interesting - this is our first one. As of now, Tim and I are splitting our time. We need to make sure Nora feels our love and not shoved off all the time. 

But we realize when Hannah is released, it’ll be like a second birth - coming home to a second schedule change which will be more hectic for sure. But at least she’ll be HOME and we’re the ones responsible instead of medical professionals. 

So in a nutshell, we’re doing good. It’s a slightly tricky terrain and different than with the first, but we’re doing well so far : )