Baby Girl’s Status

21 Weeks

For those of you who have been wondering - our Monday Level 2 ultrasound did not go as well as we were hoping.

1. Her brain ventricles are measuring mildly large; measuring a 13 instead of a 10
2. Her heart valves are moving in unison instead of independently
3. Her stomach to duodenum transition looks to be partially obstructed and her stomach narrows towards the bottom instead of being fully round

Due to these three items, the doctor said our Baby Girl has a 20% chance for a chromosome abnormality. She continued to talk about next steps and such, but truthfully all I could do was just stare as my mind went blank. We left the appointment and as any mother would, I lost it. My daughter has a 20% chance of not being “normal.”

There’s a chance she could still develop well and some of these things go away. There’s a 5% chance they could get worse. I think having zero answers at this point is very hard. Everything is vague and we can’t prepare in anyway. We just have to go step by step and as we learn what is going on, educate ourselves. 

The past few days have been an emotional challenge; anger, sadness, disappointment, disbelief, etc. I’m a control freak and I like to have control of my environment and my life and I have zero control over this situation. The healthiest lifestyle, following all the rules and we’re still dealt this card. Then I see my neighbor who is 8 months pregnant smoking a cigarette and my fury boils over. Not. Fair. 

We’ve been in contact with some professionals and have a genetic blood test and genetic counseling set up for tomorrow at 3pm. This bloodwork is 99% accurate to detect any chromosome abnormalities. After we get those results, they will go to a team of doctors who will meet with us after I have a prenatal MRI/fetal echocardiogram. I will continue with Level 2 ultrasounds and Baby Girl will be monitored the duration of the pregnancy. 

Everyone tells us we can handle this, but there are moments I don’t know how. There are times when I’m calm and ready to meet her, there are times I freak out and mourn the loss of the life we know. 

And all of this is for the 20%! The way it’s being handle is as if she were 100% diagnosed. I suppose it’s better to focus on the “worst” and prepare us - which I suppose I prefer. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. 

I’m still scared but I’m grateful we live in a city with great children’s medicine, we have the best families and incredibly supportive friends. Writing here may help get out the feelings, too.

Please keep us in your thoughts - 
C