How Am I Doing?

12 Weeks

An acquaintance with another bitty baby asked me how I was doing since I mostly talk about the girls here - oh yeah - ME! 

I’m… good. Better than okay but not awesome. It’s a day-to-day thing. Mondays seem to be hard because Tim goes back to work. I tend to have a lot of anxiety nowadays due to Hannah not eating her bottles anymore and never seeing the end in sight with the G-tube. I’ve also become more edgy now that Hannah has started to have gagging spit up this week. We increased the amount of milk she gets and I guess her stomach hasn’t stretched to accommodate so she has to be upright for like 30 minutes after eating. I tried doing tummy time with her this AM after 20 minutes and she gagged and spit up. It was awful. 

I’m also anxious for my sitter - I hope I’m not putting too much on her with Hannah and these tube feedings. She’s calm and patient but she’s also looking after at least 3 other toddlers; her own two kids and Nora. I have total faith in her but don’t want to add pressure to her. 

Oh, and keep Hannah healthy for heart surgery in January. At a sitter’s. During cold & flu season. 

So I think come February after we’ve made it through this next hurdle, I’ll need some kind of celebration. It will definitely involve a bottle of champagne.