“Special” Prom?

I follow Milford Schools on Facebook - a very handy way to see what’s happening in my girls’ soon-to-be district. 

They recently posted some photos from their first ever “special prom.” Quoting their post:

“At this special prom, Milford High School students and staff created a true sense of community for students with disabilities from Milford and other local schools making our special guests feel both honored and accepted.

“Milford prides itself on providing our students with disabilities as many experiences as possible to learn to grow and become an active part of the community,” said Milford’s Director of Special Education, Jennie Berkley. “The Special Education Department is so very proud to both highlight our special students and help facilitate these lifelong memories, friendships and opportunities.””

This actually became a hot topic with a group of Moms who have children with Ds on Facebook. One particular Mom was quite upset because this was the opposite of inclusion and suggests that kids with special needs aren’t as welcome at the “regular” prom. Our kids should feel just as welcome at the annual prom. 

“If my son wants to go to the Prom he can. If I want a special needs dance, then I will go to DSAGC or stepping stones etc.”

“I want life as “normal” as possible. I and my kids need to explore the forest outside of these worlds to keep a balance (inclusion) with what exists outside of these organizations. I want them to be included, not identified then isolated based upon their diagnosis just to make them feel special.”

Other Moms were not as bothered by it: “As much as we hope our kids are included in everything they might not be, so a night just for them to feel special seems alright to me.” 

Many thought our kids should feel they can attend both, or just one if they wanted - whichever made their child feel more comfortable.   Another Mom felt it’s okay for our kids to have a special night with their peers. 

I found it an interesting discussion... I can see both sides to the story. I will admit, my first reaction was, “Why do they need a separate dance? Shouldn’t the annual prom be inviting and inclusive to all students?”

A good point brought up is that our kids [with Ds] can still most likely make their own choices - which type of even they want to attend. That’s what makes this such a unique discussion - there are many other kids who have more difficult conditions who might not have this choice - the “special prom” might be the only choice. 

“ I think our kids are on the fence. By that I mean they fit in with their peers fairly well and in things like the regular Prom, can pretty much hold their own. So why would they go to a special Prom. Because it's fun, not because it's their only alternative. ”

Regardless, it was an interesting conversation and one that my opinion may ebb and flow as Hannah grows up... 

And in Tim’s opinion everyone needs to stop being offended by everything : )