“When it rains, it pours.” Truth.
1. Tim was summoned for jury duty for the months of July - August... It’s a high possibility I could deliver early; i.e. end of August. Tim submitted a letter of dismissal about our unborn daughter’s complications and that I could deliver early. Denied. Two big middle fingers to Clermont Co. Court system.
2. I came home Tuesday evening and looked at the thermostat. It read 77˚ when I’d set it at 72˚ that AM. Went downstairs and the one pipe [?] was frozen. Awesome. We knew the AC was 15-20 years old. Last summer we simply had a handyman recharge the freon. We felt it was silly to recharge again for another $400 this year and simply replace the system since it needs to be anyway.
I had called a local place at 8:30am on Wed and again halfway through the day only to be told twice, “Someone will call you.” It’s currently 11:20am on Thursday and they never got back to me. I since have called Recker & Boerger who helped me immediately and within one hour I have an appointment for Tuesday [unfortunately the soonest available] for a new installation.
3. Someone who knows me made an unintentionally insensitive comment via social media about feeling wonderful after receiving a “normal” genetic test result for their unborn baby. I’ve grown to dislike the word “normal.” I was already grumpy about the AC and seeing this statement really got me. I couldn’t help my anger and resentment bubble up. I realize a lot of people probably don’t know or realize things they say can be insensitive. I’m trying to get a thicker skin, but it’s going to take a while.
It also made me hope I’ve never said insensitive things along the way of babies/fertility... not until knowing friends who struggled with fertility or miscarriages do we take for granted a “normal” pregnancy. I think that’s why with my second pregnancy, from the get-go I wanted to keep it off social media. I’m just more in tune with oversharing “perfect” pregnancies. Especially for women who struggle[d] or are having complications.
So for my dear acquaintances who have been through the trenches - I hope my first time around, I wasn’t that annoying pregger. Now I’m on the other side and it’s hard. Seeing all these adorable babies on the computer is fun, but hard because my sweetie will have tubes galore... but that’s okay because she’s still our awesome daughter.
In summary - all of theses things bundled up made for a really rotten day Wednesday. I cried when I got in my car. Then I got home to an 80+ degree home and I cried more. Tim sweetly rubbed my feet before bed and we slept decent and today is a new day!
I feel you on the jury duty scheduling anxiety. N had his biometrics appointment for immigration yesterday, and the next step - the interview - will be within the next 4 months. I'm due in 3 months, which is within the next 4 months. If he can't make the interview, he has to start the whole process over, including paying for a new application ($680), so if I happen to go into labor the day of his appointment, I'll just have to hope that he can make it to the hospital in time. Bureaucracy!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I can't believe he was denied! That is BS. Secondly, I will always know how old Nora is because my first baby was due in Dec 2011 too and I remember all the babies I saw being posted on Facebook around that time. And I think you did some mother's day announcement on FB or maybe I clicked on a link to your blog. And I remember that too because I wanted to make the same announcement but by mother's day 2011, we already knew we might be losing the pregnancy. When we finally had a healthy pregnancy, I wrote a whole post about the guilt I felt in my happiness because I knew others were still struggling. I found myself writing happy posts that would have annoyed the crap out of me just months before. Like you said, people aren't trying to be insensitive on purpose - I don't imagine you were trying to do anything but share your happiness. It's just people living life and sometimes it sucks to be the observer. It was a great lesson in learning that we never truly know what someone else goes through. I hope i never lose my sensitivity to it but in the end, i felt like i deserved to write those happy posts so i did. As humans, I think part of us will always want what someone else has but we need to remember that there are others who want what we have. Behind all those perfect pregnancies could be broken marriages or family drama or maybe those babies won't have the gift of knowing their grandparents, etc. Hannah is such a lucky little girl to be born to a mommy who loves her so much and cares enough to share her story. Thank you for being so honest. It is so much better when people are real. I'd take that over perfect braggy-ish posts on social media any day.
ReplyDeletegood observation, jamie. i know it's something you've thought about and experienced a lot.
Deletestine, i like your point about hannah still being your awesome daughter. so true. sorry about your bad day...xo
hugs!!!
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